But does it make you doubt yourself & all your knowledge when it does? When you personally suffer a health condition, from the small to the significant, does it always come with a double diagnosis; a bad bout of imposter syndrome being added for good measure? Do you think things like, ‘How can I be advising others when this is actually, in truth, my own (lack of) health?!’ That’s normal. Not helpful, of course. Nor rational, reasonable, appropriate or proportionate. But when you work in health, being unrelentingly hard on yourself about absolutely anything that looks or sounds or feels like less than optimal, is unfortunately an occupational hazard. ‘Well, what kind of an expert or an ad for health, am I then?!’ But sick happens to us all.
I don’t think we talk about this enough.
For most of us health is not a job, it’s an identity. And an identifier, used by others, of us. Friends, family, neighbours, networks. Almost everyone else just has a job right?! Instead we live a life...that is the embodiment of our occupation. That’s a good thing of course – we hope we’re in a position to act on the information we have about health in our own lives & are able to walk the talk. But that doesn’t ever make us invulnerable to disease or immunis (a Latin adjective that originally indicated freedom from obligations but evolved into the medical concept of being protected from disease: ala immunity). But holding the two truths: I am a health practitioner & I am unwell – can cause us to crumble.
I recently got a voice message from a practitioner I’ve known & mentored for a long time.
I could hear her fear & a bit of free-fall, as she told me she had been diagnosed with a substantial oestrogen dependent growth.
She didn’t speak per se to a sense of shame or her crisis of confidence in her own competence as a clinician but having been there myself, and many times (!), she didn’t need to. I sent her a voice message back along the lines of this, not making assumptions but offering gentle reassurance that if this was where she was going in her head – it was not uncommon or even unexpected but entirely misplaced. Her relief was palpable. Then I referred her to someone that knows all about this BS that can go on in our brains because she herself has been both an incredibly effective health professional caring for thousands of patients and has experienced several major health issues throughout her career. And tbh I see this as one of this practitioner’s serious super-powers🦸♀️
Her experiences of poor health only add to her expertise – they don’t diminish it.
Likewise I know other practitioners who are diabetic, have had their bowel removed, have heart conditions, ongoing infertility, total burn out, all different types of cancer – you name it – and I regularly refer to them all. Not only for their firsthand experience & unmatched expertise in these particular presentations but for something bigger than that they share with those in their care: fortitude, pragmatism & their understanding, with all of their being, that no matter how good your nutrition, how regulated your nervous system, nor how pristine your environment…Sick Happens.
If instead we feel the pressure to keep pretending we’re above illness – to imply that optimal wellness is a question only of will & your willingness to do the work!
Well that short-changes us all of the kind of super-power support I know is possible & we all deserve – and ensures the cycle of silence continues. I’ve been sharing a lot lately about what perimenopause has put in my path – as both obstacles and opportunities for fresh insight & understanding about this transition for women & myself. Now tell me, what’s been happening with you 🤗
Image by Eugenia Pan via Unsplash
